Set the controls for the heart of Branson, MO

Author: Josh  |  Category: music, nonfiction

Let’s assume you are familiar with the technicolor dungstorm that is the american scenic byway attraction circuit. Like me, you’ve already visited the 90-foot shirtless Santa in Scarville, VA. You probably wondered, as I did, “Who is Jesus’ favorite down home style country comedian?” Well, you learned all that and more while watching hi-def Jerry Clower footage at Jesus’s Favorite Country Comedians, provided by IMAX and the Impact, GA chamber of commerce. You’ve driven your nitrous-boosted Buick Skylark to Tonsure, MA and spent two glorious days touring Milton Bradley’s “Livestock Processing Land.” Like me you fell in love with the concept of Slaughterhouse-based edutainment in general and the HungryHungryHippos Hoof Removal Dance Party in particular. Day after glorious day you search and invariably find examples of American madness and deformity, complete with entrance fees and gift shops. Museum dedicated to the clothing of serial killers? You bet. Ice cream stand / Fully operation pony express office? Check. After a while, though, these kinds of roadside attractions start to look like just one more plastic monkey in a larger barrel of plastic monkeys (Milton Bradley on the brain, I guess). It’s time to step up your game…raise the stakes…use a cliche about increased risk.

What if there was an entire town devoted to wunderkammen-style attractions. An entire community fueled by deformity, brain malfunction and sequins. The universe has seen fit to provide just such a place– Branson, MO.


Behold! Fiddle Master Shoji Tobuchi, performing at the Shoji Tobuchi theater

with the help of various Tabuchis in residence!


Marvel as this sorceress stretches her leotard to its absolute limit

gesturing mechanically towards magical stage pieces!

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Baldknobbers, HO!

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Try in vain to wrap your feeble brainmeat around this

religio-countryandwestern-patriotic masterpiece!

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