In an emergency session earlier today, congress approved the appointment of a special ambassador to help restore calm in Egypt. According to Ambassador Egyptian Lover, not only is Egypt the place to be, but is also his primary residence (he apparently has dual citizenship). His house, on the Nile, that’s right, is said to have waterbeds 50 feet long with solid gold speakers to hear his songs.

When asked how he intends to deal with the Egyptian president, the new ambassador replied “Handling him is no problem at all.” Pressed further on specifics, he offered “I’ll make him climb a mirrored wall.”

iPhone test

If I had a dime for every time I showed up a fight with my time travel trousers on…

via Brass Goggles.

Recent events have reminded me of the importance of early detection when dealing with alien invaders. You can’t just let them land in your yard and promise not to take over the earth. Aliens don’t value yards the way we do, so you can forget about them valuing human life. With this circuit, you can remain aware of exactly how much sunlight is being blocked by an approaching alien warship. Ignore the radio broadcasts. The mind-controlled announcers will claim it is a medical supply vessel, but we know an unimaginably futuristic, alien, and complex warship when we see one.

Bottom Line: LEDs + piezo buzzer = not dead from alien attack.